Most Parents define Parenting as, it’s a mixed bag of joy, love, bonding, anxiety, sleepless nights, financial adjustment, and so on. Surprisingly it is true.
Confusion still is if it’s a science or an art.
Does parenting mean kids are clay and we are the sculptures? Apparently, for parents yes this is what it is. The technique of parenting is easy to understand, however, we as parents have complicated the process of it by dominance, enforcement, and molding kids the way we want.
Now let’s go a little in-depth, We have typically been grown in a culture, where a boy or a girl in their evolving adult age think about when grown, we have to get married and at a certain age, we will have 1 or 2 children, we have to do certain things for the child, setting the expectation for both, this is exactly where the seed of parenting is sown.
No one taught the older generation how to bring up a child, as parenting was considered to be an absolutely natural process. But today, it is considered to be the most difficult task ever, you teach your child every bit of goodness, discipline, habits, etc as a result of which you hope them to grow up great, isn’t it?
What we parents do is throw children into learning and expect them to evolve. We might expect all good from our child in the growing stage, but, have you ever noticed, what you want from the children and what you are giving to them.
Moreover, Indian parents have their own flavor of extreme dominance, extreme molding, It’s from their own innate intelligence this is all we know how to do.
Parents also get more involved in the life of kids, upbringing, education but at the other end of the spectrum, there’s a lot of harm going on, where parents feel kids can’t be successful unless the parent is protective and preventing at every turn. Getting involved in every happing in a kid’s life is like micromanaging every moment. Which in turn becomes too much interference.
The immediate question in mind now would be, should we give them the freedom to the child?
Given deep thinking about it, why not? Why not give them a gift of freedom which is their right. It’s genuinely very hard to do, as we are in a culture of subjugation.
Every Parent should well acknowledge that Parenting is not the project, it’s not the medal that we need to go after. It is a journey not only of the child but also of our own evolution.
However, gone are the days, Parents are now making the paradigm shift and today we learn and coach ourselves to be in a good parenting zone.
Parenting methodology is shifting eventually. Parents cant have complete rule over the kids now.
The book “The Road Less Traveled” written by known psychiatrist Dr. M Scott, this book revolves around “how to find genuine love?” and genuine love is nothing but the willingness to extend oneself towards the growth of another person. That is precisely what parenting is all about.
Being a parent, we think we responsible to shape & nurture the child. We allow, we open space, we as parents keep our ego as a priority because we know we are doing all that is needed.
I totally agree, being a parent we think it’s our duty to guide them on the path however it becomes involvement when overdone. The only thing you will land with is agony.
Every moment teaches you new things. Kids are the best teacher in every child-parent relationship. Every moment is so unknown in this parent-child dynamic. They teach us something new every single day.
The famous poet Khalil Gibran said, your children don’t belong to you, they come through you. Which means we are just the medium, we are the chosen ones. You can give them love but not your thoughts they have thoughts of their own. In the walk of life, the least can be done is to help them be fully independently successful.
Parenting is a mutually corresponding relationship, where both teach each other how they both need to grow. You definitely cannot look at the child whom you can control or manage.
Let’s Value being in this world as it is.